One Night
by mamasutra
Summary: It all started one night... A story of love lost, love found and life in a way that was never planned. ExB. ***repost one chapter a day until the end**
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

The bar was dark and full of the business types who were looking to escape from their dull lives. It wasn't my typical place, but tonight was an exception. Tonight was a celebration so no typical place was in order. I had just finished my second Crown and Coke when I noticed her.

She was wearing a red cocktail dress that clung to her ample curves. Her long brown hair was pulled back in a soft bun with a few hairs hanging loose in curls that framed her lovely face. She looked out of place. She looked beautiful. She looked uncomfortable as a blonde haired man spoke to while leaning close with a wolfish smile.

I watched for a long moment as he spoke to her. I could see the want and desperation coming off of him in waves. It was funny and sad all at once. I watched as he tried to woo the young woman who looked bored. It was this display that entertained me for a moment until I watched him place his hand upon her. It was minor touch. It was a testing touch to see if she would allow him near her and I could not allow it. I found myself on my feet walking across the empty space between her and me until I stood before them.

"There you are," I said with a warm teasing smile to the woman who met my gaze with her own warm smile.

"Here I am," she said with a warm grin that caused a rumbling inside of me as I noticed how bright her eyes were and how heavy her tits were as they strained against the red fabric of her dress.

"You know this guy?" the man asked her in disbelief as I offered her my hand in a means of escape as well as an opportunity for something different.

"I've been waiting for him all night," she said to me with a purr that caused my dick to harden in my pants to the point of being painful as she placed her small hand in mine.

**AN:**

**Hey all! This is just a repost since I can see the ending on this one now. I have plans to post one chapter a day until the end… so, here we go… No corrections, no regrets and no apologies.**

**Until later…**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xoxo**


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

I noticed the thin gold band on her left hand. It was dainty and matched mine perfectly.

"May I buy you a drink?" I asked the woman who calmly held my hand as I led her back to the bar with a grin. She didn't speak, just nodded her head yes.

"Thank you," she offered quietly as we sat down together. It was soft almost shy thank you followed by a sweet blush that made my dick ache like it hadn't since I was sixteen.

"You're welcome," I replied and then grinned as her blush deepened. I felt her eyes move over me like a warm caress as we sat together and she disclosed her love of lemon drop martinis.

"That is a handsome suit you are wearing," she said with a smile, but she wasn't looking at my suit. She was staring at the matching gold ring on my left hand.

"Thank you. My wife picked it out," I said as I watched her wide brown eyes for reaction at the mentioning of my wife.

"She has impeccable taste," she said with a teasing grin that made me smile as well.

"Yes, she does. She chose me after all," I replied back with a warm grin that made her laugh as she placed her small hand upon my arm. I could feel her how warm her touch was even through the layers of material that separated my skin from hers. It was heat that singed my skin and left me wanting more.

The bartender sat down the lemon drop martini in front of the beautiful woman at my side before giving my Crown and Coke. I watched her face fall into a deep frown as she looked at the drink.

"Is there something wrong?" I asked her feeling a wash of nerves settle over me which was odd since I had long outgrown nervousness when it came to beautiful women. I was used to having a beautiful woman at my side, yet tonight that look of disappointment made me feel like a sixteen year old boy.

"I can't take this drink," she said with an adorable pout that made me want to kiss it right off her full lips.

"Why not?" I asked her in a nervous tone as I watched her fidget with her red dress that rested against her nice thick thighs.

"Because I don't accept drinks from strangers," she said with a pout, but I could see the mischief in her eyes as she looked at me with her sad face that made my dick ache like a damn fool.

"Well, let me fix that then," I said with a smile as I held out my hand to her.

"I'm Edward," I said with a grin while hoping like hell she would play along with this little game of mine.

"Nice to meet you, Edward. I'm Bella," she said with a grin that looked pleased before she took hold of her drink to take a long sip while watching me with her soulful brown eyes.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! Maybe another chapter or three today since I forgot that there were 67 chapter in this one…**

**Until later…**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xoxo**


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

"So, what are you doing in downtown Chicago?" Bella asked me with a saucy grin that made me smile as well.

"What makes you think I don't live down here?" I asked her in mock outrage which only made her laugh at me. Her laughter was deep and hearty. It was contagious since it made me want to laugh along with her.

"You scream suburbs," she teased while I rolled my eyes since she was right. "I do not," I defended myself in the most lame way ever which only caused her to laugh harder at me.

"Well, so do you," I retorted like a child as she continued to snicker at me.

"I was in town for a celebration," I offered lamely as an explanation for my being here.

"How did that go?" she asked me with a smile as if she knew what a bust it was.

"Well, it's good now that I've met you," I teased her with a grin. She rewarded me with a sweet blush that caused my dick to twitch excitedly. That damn blush just was calling my name. It was taunting me with its sweetness. It made me think about her skin and how sweet she smelled.

"What about you?" I asked her, half expecting her laughter but she just grinned instead.

"I was to meet my husband, but he bailed on me," she said with a pout that made me want to bite that bottom lip of hers.

"His loss," I offered with a sympathetic nod of my head which resulted in a sad smile from my beautiful companion.

"Where is your wife?" she asked me with a sideways look that made me want to smile as her sneaky way of asking about my wife.

"She couldn't come celebrate with me," I offered with a sad look similar to the one Bella had given me.

"Her loss," Bella said with a nod of her head as she looked at me with bright eyes.

We finished our drinks slowly while making small talk. We ordered more and then argued about who was paying for this round until I let her win. We discussed nothing and everything all at once. She was charming and the most enticing person I had met in ages. It took me out of element to be with her and when she stood up to announce that she should call it night I just knew I wasn't ready to let her go.

I walked her to the dark entrance of the bar and out on to the street with a heavy heart and aching dick. It knew it was now or never and I knew I would not be able to live with myself if I let this moment go.

"Bella wait," I called to her as she turned towards the direction of where her car was parked in underground parking. She stopped and looked at me with eyes too bright form the vodka she had been drinking.

"I know this seems rushed, but I want you…" I stammered as I tried to ask her to come back to my hotel room with me. I hadn't ever done anything like that so asking her to be with me seemed foreign and yet so damn right all at once. I wasn't able to get all of my words out before Bella's body crashed into mine. She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me down before crashing her full, vodka flavored lips into mine.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Until later…**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xoxo**


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Bella's vodka flavored kiss made my ache with its sweet familiarity. I could not resist opening my mouth to invite her candy like tongue to tangle with mine. It was an invitation that she greedily accepted with a little moan that went straight to my cock.

It was exciting and dangerous to kiss this beautiful woman like that in the middle of a busy sidewalk as people passed by where anyone could see us. There were images to protect and this simple kiss would blow away any of those carefully constructed roles.

Bella pulled away from me in a startled jerk as her phone rang. It was as if that slight sound reminded her of who we really were and what our lives really were like.

"Sorry," she mumbled with cheeks stained pink from our kiss as she pulled her phone out of the tiny purse she carried. I watched her as she answered the call with concern and a slight tinge of irritation. The conversation was short and sweet. Bella was kind and urging until she finally ended it with a simple good and I love you before returning back to me.

"Are the kids ok?" I asked her, not caring that we had agreed not to mention what life we had in the suburbs for one night. I needed to make sure everything was fine since if it wasn't the night would be lost the responsibilities that swallowed us whole every other day of the week.

"Everything is fine," she soothed with a motherly grin that still made me hot since there was something so enticing about her motherly persona.

"You texted to check on the baby earlier," she said in a teasing tone t was far from accusatory. She knew me too well to know that I wouldn't check.

"I did," I said firmly and then watched her smile since I knew my protective father ways made her achy for me as well. I wanted her to ache for me. I wanted her to burn for me like I burned for her.

I pulled her back into my arms as she giggled happily while winding her arms around my neck once more. We pressed close as I held her hips firmly against me. I wanted her to feel my hard cock. I wanted her to know what she did to me and what I had planned for her.

"Now, where were we?" I asked her in a seductive tone that always made her grin like a fool for me as she wiggled her hips against me before I dipped lower to kiss her pouty lips once more.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! Sorry for any mistakes…**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xoxo**


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

I don't know how we made it back to the hotel since we were a constant tangle of arms, legs and tongues as we tried to navigate the city streets. We would get cat calls and whistles, but I didn't care. I wanted the world to see me with this beautiful woman. I wanted the world to know she was with me.

We finally made it to the Hilton and walked through the majestic lobby like newlyweds as we groped and teased without being noticed by anyone around even though the party I had left was still going full swing in the ballroom close by. I wouldn't have cared if they had seen me since this beautiful creature deserved to be showed off.

I pulled Bella towards the elevators. I wanted her in my room now. I wanted her naked now. I wanted to taste her skin now. I wanted to lick her pussy until she came now. I was never like this. I was never this demanding, but there was something about this night and this woman at my side that was bringing that out in me full force.

Once the elevator doors closed I turned towards her and quickly pressed her up against the cold wall in a hard kiss as my hands trailed down under hr short skirt. I needed to feel her. I needed to feel her heat. I needed it now, but as I pulled back I could see the stunned nervous look on her face greet me.

"I'm never like this," I whispered thickly as my fingers trailed over her stocking covered thigh to push higher to the apex at her thighs.

"I've never done this before, but you… you make me want this," I whispered softly as trailed a finger over where her stockings ended at the top of her thigh with a throat groan of approval as I traced where the material and her ample flesh met.

"I've never either," she whispered with red cheeks and bright eyes before biting her bottom lip nervously while my fingers traced along her lace covered panties. I could feel the heat of her pussy as I traced her lips. I could feel the wetness that had pooled there on the fabric from our kissing and grinding as we made our way to this point. It was that wetness that teased me. It begged me to feel it on my skin, to taste it on my lips, to wrap myself up in it. Without another thought or a bit of protest I hooked the edge of her panties with my fingers and pushed them aside, exposing her sweet little cunt to my touch. I brought my fingers back and traced along her pussy lips slowly as she moaned and shifted, giving me what little access she could in her tighter skirt. It wasn't much, but just enough for me to feel her heat and how she dripped for me in pleasure. I teased her clit with a slow circling like a predator circling its prey while she remained standing on trembling legs before abruptly pushing two fingers deep inside of her just like she liked.

Bella nearly screamed and I had no doubt that people could her cry of pleasure. It made me proud. It made me feral. It made me want to fuck her here in the elevator where anyone could find us, but that wasn't an option so instead slowly worked my fingers in and out of her tight pussy.

"Does that feel good baby?" I whispered in her ear before nipping on her ear lobe while she panted in pleasure.

"Does it feel good to have my long fingers fucking you?" I asked her as she groaned in pleasure while I smiled against her skin. My baby loved dirty talk.

"God, yes," she moaned as I pressed deeper inside of her while she shook in my arms. She was the picture of perfection with her eyes half closed and clinging to me as I fingered her into oblivion.

I could feel her body tightening, winding up, getting reading to cum and I wanted it almost as badly as what she did. I knew she wouldn't take long the first time since it had been too long since we had a moment to be together like this.

"Do you want to cum for me baby?" I whispered in her ear as my hips rocked against her on their own accord while my fingers pushed deep and twisted inside of her, seeking out that magic spot that only I knew about. It was the spot that made her cum on command for me. It was the spot that was only mine and I had only ever found in her.

"Yes, Edward. Yes. I need it so bad, please," she moaned throaty for me as she tossed her head back, knocking it into the wall behind us. I licked and nipped her neck for a second before my fingers pushed as deep as her skirt would allow me. I rubbed her from the inside, putting pressure on her while twisting my fingers deep. It was all that was needed to send her over the edge.

"Oh fuck," she moaned loudly before her body convulsed and she coated my hand and fingers with her cum.

"That's it baby. That's it. Cum for me. Cum just for me. So good, baby. So good for me. So fucking good," I cooed in her ear, urging her on in her bliss while she held me tight with my fingers buried inside of her while her pussy contracted around them. When I felt the last flutter from her cunt I pulled them out and helped her stand on shaky legs before licking her taste off my skin as she snorted in a very unlady like laughter that always made me grin while blushing red just for me.

A**N:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Until later…**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xoxo**


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

The elevator stopped at the twenty-four floor just as Bella came for me. We walked out holding hand since her legs were unsteady from how hard she came. I loved watching her drunken gait knowing that it was from my touch not the vodka she had drank. Her fingers rubbed along my skin that was wet from her pussy and my tongue. She seemed to like the thrill of knowing that it was her wetness that was cementing the bond between our hands.

She would look over at me with a shy smile that made my hard cock even harder as we walked until I stopped her in front of a door. I pulled out the key card and slid it through the lock before opening the door for her. I watched as she walked in the room with a saucy little smirk. I wanted to see her face as she recognized the room. I wanted her to remember even though we were playing our game.

Bella did not disappoint me with her reaction. I watched as her eyes went big for a moment before she masked her emotions, but in that split second I could see everything that I needed to see. I could see the want and lust. I could the remembrance and love that was always there between us.

"What a lovely room," she commented on with a smirk that I knew too well and it was a lovely room. It was ornately decorated that hinted at the turn of the century from when it was built for the world's fair. There was a seating area and a desk. A large ornate wooden coffee table that was polished to high heavens so that it glowed in the low lights of the room in front of what appeared to be a velvet couch. It was old and elegant while having the moderns of large flat screen TVs and Wi-Fi. The curtains were pulled back allowing us to see the amazing view that went out over Grant Park, Navy Pier and the lake. It was stunning, but not as stunning as the woman who stood in the middle of the suite.

"I'm glad you approve since I plan on fucking you on every surface of it," I said causing her to giggle like a school girl while turning towards her.

"What was the celebration tonight?" she asked me with a grin that I answered with one of my own.

"My partner and I were being honored by our local chapter of the American Psychological Association for our works with the community," I said with a proud grin. I was proud of this, but at that time all I wanted was to be buried deep inside of this stunning woman in front of me.

"Congratulations," she said with a pleased grin as she looked at me.

"It's all my partner, trust me on that. Dr. Whitlock is an amazing doctor, but you don't want to hear about that," I said with a teasing grin as I stalked forward towards her. She didn't want to hear about that. She was being polite and I could tell. It was that reserved politeness that I wanted to obliterate. It was that reserved shyness that I wanted gone. I wanted the moaning woman who came on my fingers back with me. I wanted her back against the wall sucking my dick. I wanted her spread eagle on the bed with I tongued her wet pussy. I just wanted her any way I could have her and the sooner the better.

Bella backed away from me like the damn tease she was until her back hit the wall. As soon as she was trapped before me I pressed against her and silenced her mouth with a kiss intent on claiming her like how I needed to claim her. I pulled her back from the wall with enough space to unzip her dress while she tore at my tie, trying to rip it off me. It was animalistic and hot. It made my cock throb as I struggled to free her of the fucking fantastic red dress that teased me with its flames until finally it pooled around her feet.

I looked at her and felt the air leave the room as I viewed her perfection. Her heavy tits were shaking with her stuttered breathing. They were full and begged for me to free them from the red lace shelf bra that they threatened to spill out of at any moment. I could see her nipples hard and erect through the lace as they taunted my tongue to taste them. My eyes trailed over her body hungrily. The soft roundness of her belly and barely there faded stretch marks hinted at her being a mommy and that made me ache with knowing that she was capable carrying my child. It was caveman like ache that left me wanting to fuck her over and over again while filling her with my seed until her belly grew with my child. It left me growling as I took in her red lace garter belt that held her stockings in place and then finally her red lace panties that were already soaked with her cum. She was utter perfection. She was wild and wanton She was all mine as she stood there before me in her barely there undergarments that begged for me to rip them off so I could fuck her properly.

**AN: **

**Thanks for reading!**

**Until later…**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xoxo**


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

I had stripped down to my boxers slowly while Bella watched me. Her eyes were solely focused on my cock as it strained against the fabric of my boxers. Her eyes took in the damp spot from my precum with a hungry look.

"It's all for you, baby," I whispered to her as she licked her lips greedily, but I wasn't ready to feel the heat of her mouth. I wanted to taste her. I needed to taste her since the teasing taste of her pussy on my fingers weren't enough to quench my thirst for her.

I dropped to my knees before her while pressing her body against the wall. I unsnapped her garter and then tugged on the wet lace of her panties, dragging them down her leg slowly as her eyes watched my every move.

"I need to taste you baby," I whispered to her while she moaned in response as her eyes fluttered closed.

I grabbed her leg and placed it up on my shoulder while pressing her into the wall for support. The movement exposed her pink pussy to me. It was soft and had a nice strip of hair showing that she was all woman and not some trendy bitch that insisted on following the trends of waxing bare. I hated waxed bare pussy. I wanted a woman to fuck, not a child.

I buried my face in her pink perfection, kissing her sweet clit as she moaned before licking at her entrance to taste the remnants of her cum. She was fucking delicious. She was sweet and salty. She was all woman and I lapped at her pussy like it was my favorite lollipop while her fingers dug into my hair to hold me in place as if I would ever want to leave her perfect little pussy. It was home to me.

I slowly fucked her with my tongue while lapping at her wetness as my fingers rubbed her clit in time to my tongue. She moaned and groaned in pleasure as she begged me never to stop while I mentally promised her that I never would. My tongue worked in double time until the grip of my hair in her hands burned from the pain of her pulling me closer to her pussy until she shuddered above wildly.

"Oh my fucking god, Edward," she cried as she thrashed happily while her body contracted, coating my tongue with her goodness. I pulled away from her, replacing my tongue with my fingers. I wanted her to see me coated with her wetness. I wanted her to see what I had done to her, how hard she came for me, how wet she was for my mouth. Bella's unfocused eyes met mine. Her face was red from cumming and shiny from sweat as she leaned down and kissed me. She dragged her tongue along my wet lips moaning over her taste on them.

"You taste so fucking good, don't you baby?" I asked her as her tongue continued to lick at my wet chin and lips.

"Yes, I love how I taste on you," she half moaned to me before her tongue took another lick of my lips. Just seeing her pink tongue lapping at my lips caused my already blue balls to hurt with the need to fuck her.

Her tongue moving across my face made my aching cock burn with need. I needed release and I would not be able to wait to get her to the bed. I needed her now. I stood up, pushing her leg down to steady her even though she was as unsteady as a new born colt which made my proud of my amazing tongue skills.

"I have to fuck you now, baby," I said in a ragged tone as I tried to turn her around to face the wall so she could brace herself while I planned on pounding into her pussy.

"I have to feel you pussy now," I whispered to her as she moaned over my words.

"I need it so bad baby," I whispered sounding more like a strung out drug addict instead of the grown man I was in search of bliss.

"Let me fuck you baby. Let me show you how good it can be," I whispered to her as her unfocused eyes that were hazy with lust met mine. She had no time to react as I spun her around, placing her hands on the wall before her.

"Hold on baby," I said as I instructed as I pressed her hands into the wall while pressing my body against hers.

"I have to fuck you baby. I have to be inside of that tight pussy, baby. I have to," I mumbled like a strung out coke head as I gripped her hips, pulling her ass out while kicking legs apart for more room to fuck her properly. I ran mu dripping cock along her wet pussy lips while listening to her moan loudly. I wanted to push inside of her. I needed inside of her and this horrible need was overriding my senses concerning using a condom, but I was able to think clearly for a split second. It was just long enough for me to think about the consequences of not using one and I wasn't sure if Bella was ready for that even if I was ok with it on a primal level.

I grabbed the black foil package that held the condom that I had set out just for this. I tore the package open and listened to Bella moan as my cock wiggled against her, hitting her clit since it had a mind of its own. It wanted inside of her as badly as what I did, but the smarter thing was to protect her even if I all I wanted was to feel her skin against mine. I unrolled the condom unceremoniously with the silent comment that later tonight I would get my way. Once it was in place I stepped back while moving her legs apart even wider. Bella reacted by grasping at the wall for purchase, but there was nothing for her to hold on to. I reared back and pushed inside of her hard and deep while sucking the air out of both of our lungs with a loud gasp from the sensation of our joining.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Until later…**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xoxo**


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

She was hot and tight. She wet and just fucking perfect. I had pushed as deep into her as I could, wanting to be as deep inside of her as I could. I looked down at where we were joined and as always I was amazed over how she stretched to accept me, to fit me inside of her.

"Oh, baby," she moaned as she pushed back against me, pressing her soft ass into my hips to take me deeper, as if that was possible. Her movements pushed me over the edge causing me to grip her hips tighter to hold her in place as I bit back the urge to cum immediately inside of her.

"Baby, move please. I need to feel you move," she moaned causing my fragile hold over my ability to hold out wavier for a moment as she pleaded with me. I closed my eyes and breathed for a moment while I thought of everything and everyone that would cool my desire just enough to fuck this woman properly. Once my control was back in check I slowly pulled out of her until the tip of my cock was resting just outside of her while she groaned in a pouty fashion that made me smile.

"Fuck me, Edward," she moaned while wiggling her hips and ass at me before I pushed back inside of her with a moan of happiness while she sighed happily. I started to thrust hard, pushing deep, as I fucked her with controlled strokes.

I could not stop myself from watching my cock being swallowed whole by her firm body. It was perfect. It was right. She was made for me and the feelings she caused within me made it hard to breathe as I fought for control.

I snaked my hand around and rubbed her clit in time to my thrusts. Bella's groans became louder as she pushed back into each thrust I made.

"That's it baby. I want to feel you cum," I said to her in a voice that didn't even sound like my own as I fucked her.

"Oh god, Edward," she moaned in a throaty purr as she tossed her head back, causing her hair that had slipped out of the loose bun she had been wearing to spill down her back. I needed to see her hair flying wild and free so I could pull it as I held her in place. My hand came up on its own accord and untangled her bun while I slowed my actions just enough before her hair was tumbling down her back. It looked beautiful and so did she.

"You are so fucking beautiful," I whispered to her as she moaned in appreciation of my words.

"So beautiful and so mine," I said as I punctuated each word with a snap of my hips while my fingered tweaked her clit. I felt the tremble with in her body. It was deep and teasing as it told me she was just right there on the edge.

"How long as it been since you've been fucked like this?" I asked her in a raged tone as I fought back my own orgasm as I pushed her towards hers.

"How long has it been since you felt like this?" I asked her as I plunged deep inside of her, pushing further than I had been while listening to her near cries of pleasure.

"Oh my god," she moaned causing me to smile through the pressure of holding off on my own pleasure.

"I can't…I can't…I can't take it," She moaned in a tone that hinted at her being right there teetering on the edge of pleasure and pain. It was my favorite place for her to be.

"Yes, you can. You were made for me to fuck this. You were made for me," I said in a ragged tone that gave too much away, just like my words. I skimmed my hand up her sweat drenched body to cup one breast tightly before tugging at her nipple in a way that I knew would drive her mad while continuing to work her clit. It was multitasking at its best and it helped me stay focused instead of losing it inside of her. I wanted her to cum so hard that it hurt. I wanted her to see stars. I wanted her to cry from the beauty and pain of it. I want her to have it all with me.

"Cum for me," I whispered in her ear as I pressed my heavy body into hers while pushing her into the wall as I continued to manipulate her body the way I wanted.

"I need to feel you cum on my cock," I whispered as she moaned loudly. Her arms moved in jerking motions as she reached above and behind her to grip my hair as if she was anchoring herself to me, but she didn't need to since I would never let her go.

I wanted to etch her face as she came. I wanted to see her mouth form a surprised 'o' shape while her lovely eyes rolled back in her head with pleasure. I wanted to see the blissful look of peace across her face as it reached its highest point. I wanted see the lazy smile she would give me as she slowly came down from her high. I wanted it all, but now was not the time. There would be time later to watch her face as I made her cum and I had every intention of watching her over again later tonight.

I was on the verge of cumming so I tweaked her clit hard while pushing deep inside of her, forcing her to cum by hitting that sweet spot inside of her. I watched with awe and appreciation as her back bowed while she let out a strangled cry just as her body began to shake uncontrollably. She was stunning in this moment. She was breath taking. She was the image of sex, want, love, and bliss in this moment of time. Watching her left me fighting for air as I held her tight to keep her on her legs since it was obvious that her legs were shaking too badly to keep her standing on her. I held her against me as I pumped once more before I could hold back no longer. I came with a low roar as my body shook with the force of emptying all I had inside of her until I was left empty and stuttering for air.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Until later…**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xoxo**


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

"More please, baby," Bella moaned so deep and raspy that it almost made me cum just from the sound of her losing her voice over moaning so much. It was a source of pride for me that I could bring her to this, this quiver mass of raw nerves and want with my touch.

More was never enough. It was never deep enough or hard enough. It was never enough just like moments like this. They were never enough. They were stolen snippets of time were we together instead of the typical bullshit of her and me against the world.

I yanked her legs up on my shoulders pushing deeper inside of her while she clung to the edge of the desk as if I would ever let her fall. At this angle I could brush against her clit while hitting deep inside of her. It the simple movement of it caused her eyes to roll back in her head.

"You like this baby" I whispered to her in a dark tone that hinted at the desperation I felt when it came to her. She made me desperate; desperate for her skin, her touch, her amazing pussy. Bella couldn't respond she could only moan in appreciation of this new position that I knew she just fucking loved.

"You're going to feel me in you for days," I moaned as I watched my cock slide in and out of wet sweetness while she gasped in an almost pained manner while whispering yes in response. She wanted that too. She wanted the reminder of me like this when the days were dark and the nights were long with responsibility.

"Harder, Edward, harder," she urged in a low groan as I watched her red face and wild looking eyes met mine with a plea that almost broke my heart.

"I want to feel you forever like this," she moaned as I thrust harder just for her.

"Anything for you," I replied as I pushed harder, plunged deeper with gritted teeth as I watched her trembling hand slip between us to flick at her clit in search of the bliss that we brought each other.

"I want you forever," she moaned over and over as I fucked her until she came with a hard shudder that left her breathless while forcing me into my own orgasm with a stuttering gasp for air. This was perfection. This was our heaven. This was exactly what we needed, what we sought out in each other.

I pulled out her slowly as she moaned over the loss of me being inside of her, but this was her doing not mine. I had to get rid of the condom that she had insisted on. She was always so careful, so thoughtful. She worried about pregnancy. She worried that two children were enough. She worried too much since I was dying to watch her body grow and change with life, inside of her; life that we had created.

I returned to her on shaky legs to find her still played open on the desk we had just defiled. Her head was tilted back with her long brown hair falling down behind her. Her heavy tits were pointed upward with her nipples still hard and red from all the attention they had received. Her long legs dangling down while her over heated and over worked pussy proudly on display. She looked tired. She looked blissful. She looked as if she had been fucked properly and just seeing her like that made the caveman inside of me roar over the fact that it was me who placed the fucked silly look on her beautiful face.

We had fucked on every piece of furniture in the room. She had insisted that we lay claim to the couch, the coffee table and the lounge chair. She had wanted to recreate the night we had first came here. Bella was sentimental like that and it was her sentiment that made my heart pound out of rhythm for her.

I watched her for a moment as I fought back the urge to look at my phone to make sure everything was ok. I knew everything was fine. I would have been called if not, but it was hard since no matter how much I wanted this moment, how much we both needed this moment there were children who would always come first.

"Take me to bed, Edward," she whispered with an impish grin that made my dick twitch and my heart skip a beat all at once.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! **

**Until later…**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xoxo**


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

The bed was soft and a perfect place to end out night. We kissed. We cuddled. We whispered words of love and longing as we held each other. It was a perfect place to make promises of tomorrow and remind each other that we had too much to lose if we lost each other.

It was there that I made love to her with whispered words of love and she let me. It was there that I worshiped her like she deserved to be worshipped. I kissed and caressed her. I whispered sacred words of love to remind her of the promises we had made to each other since sometimes in the midst of all the reality of our lives she needed reminding that soothing changed us. Time, space, and distance had nothing on our love I would remind her of that while she was so agreeable.

It was in this suspended bubble of bliss and want that we spent the reminder of the night. It was as dawn's lights crept into the room that I made move to her as I had wanted with nothing between except our ragged breath while I assured her that we could handle anything since I knew in my heart that we could. Bella had only protested for a moment and it was a weak protest at best that voiced her concerns about pregnancy even though she knew how I felt about the idea of her carrying our child.

It was in the dim lights of the morning that I looked into her eyes while loving her like only I could. I kissed her soft lips while she whispered her pleas to me. I held her tight and filled her with every bit of emotion and love I had for the woman beneath me until there was nothing left to give. I held her that close, refusing to move, as I was buried deep inside of her while sleep finally found us both.

I awoke a short time later when the room was filled with the butter yellows of the morning sun dispelling the magic that was last night as reality came back to me like a hammer in my head. I kissed her soft cheek as I slipped out of her embrace. I slipped into the shower silently and then dressed in the clothes I had packed for this morning since I knew I would be running late.

I stepped back into the main bedroom and watched Bella sleep for a moment. She was so peaceful, so stunning and so a rest that it made my heart ache to wake her to face the morning, but it was time.

"Baby," I whispered into her ear softly as she groaned while snuggling closer to me while I kneeled on the floor beside her.

"It's time to wake up," I whispered as I kissed long her jaw while she sighed happily for me.

"I'm going now to meet mom," I whispered and then listened to her groan over the mention of real life. I pressed kiss after kiss against her full lips as I woke her until I was sure that she was awake enough for me to leave her while still being able to make it on time.

"Don't forget about the brunch," I said as I pulled away from her and slowly untangled myself from her intoxicating embrace before I said fuck it and just crawled back into bed with her once more.

"I will be there on time," she whispered in a hoarse voice that made me smile. With one last lingering kiss I left her tangled in the bed sheets from last night to tend to our reality.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Until later…**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xoxo**


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

I made it home with enough time to change into a fresh suit before leaving to meet my family and friends in celebration of the practice. Dr. Whitlock or Jasper and I had done well for ourselves with our counseling practice. We had done every well and for that I was thankful.

"There you are," I heard my mom call to me causing me to turn to find her rushing towards me with my daughter in her arms. She looked frail in her arms, but I was assured countless times that she would catch up to her peers eventually.

"There's daddy!" mom called as she motioned towards me causing Lillie to look at me with a toothy grin. Her red hair was pulled into small pig tails and I could see the shine in her eyes that resembled mine through her little glasses. She was perfect and every day I thanked god for her even though her arrival wasn't planned.

"My little Lillie bear," I cooed at her as she giggled while I scooped her up in my arms. I didn't need to look for her mother since I knew she wasn't here yet.

"If you would take her I really need to…" Mom said in a rush before I shooed her along to tend to whatever party plans she had in place for me and Jasper. She passed just long enough to kiss the baby's head before turning to yell at the caterer.

"Look at you," Jasper teased as he looked at me with a grin. This man knew all of my secrets, well almost all of my secrets. He knew how I felt about Lillie's birth before she was born. He was there to hold my hand when Lillie arrived at twenty eight weeks gestation instead of forty weeks. He was there when they weren't sure if Lillie would live or die. He was the one to introduce me to other parents who faced the same issues.

"Lil, can you say hi to Uncle Jasper?" I asked her with a grin as she batted her green eyes at Jasper in a flirtatious manner that was too much like her mother.

"What happened to you and Bella last night?" he asked me as he stood by me watching the commotion parade by us while trying to get out of the way. I looked away to keep the smirk off my face since he didn't need to know how I spent the night with his sister.

"Yeah, what happened to you last night?" I heard her call with her soft voice hat still had the lilt of her accent seeping through. I was hard to believe that this voice used to make my heart pound when now all it did was make me cringe.

"Hey Tan," I said with a smile that I wore whenever I looked at my wife. It was a fake smile that hid all the unwanted hurt that she caused within me.

"I called last night to see if you wanted to meet up, but you never responded so I just went home instead," she said a pout on her pretty face that made my stomach twist with guilt. She was a good wife and did not deserve how I was treating her. No one deserved to be cheated on and if I was more of man I would just leave her, but Lillie made everything so much more difficult.

"I'm sorry, babe. I went to a jazz bar and drank too much. I stayed overnight at a hotel since it wasn't safe to drive home," I offered while conveniently leaving out the part of fucking my partner's sister until the early dawn.

"You should have called. We could have had some fun, especially since your mom was watching Lil," she said with a teasing smile as I returned to her grin with a guilty look of my own.

"Maybe next time," I offered lamely, knowing that I would have to take her for a night out if I wanted to keep her happy and my seeing Bella meant that I would need to keep her happy.

"Bella!" Jasper called out causing me to turn to see her. I needed to see her. MY eyes were drawn to her immediately even though I could hear the huff of frustration in Tanya's voice as she stepped closer to me almost on instinct.

"Why is she here?" Tanya hissed in my ear while I shh'd her. I watched as Bella approached. She was wearing a blue sundress that showed off her curves and her hair was down in curls around her shoulders. She looked beautiful and every bit of her was just glowing. I liked to think that her glow was because of me and not the man at her side who wrapped his arm around her in a possessive manner.

"Edward, Tanya, you do remember my sister Bella and her husband, Jacob, right?" Jasper said as motioned between us with a friendly smile while my eyes looked into Bella's. I could see her amusement and the hint of that sass that I so loved.

"Edward," Bella said with a shy grin as her eyes met mine for a moment before she acknowledged my wife with the simple stating of her name while Tanya with a lack of grace huffed in anger.

"Bella," I replied with a smile just for her before her asshole husband pulled her away from me with almost a growl as he lead her off in the other direction. I watched her go just like I always did, just like I always would while counting down the moments until we were together once more.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! Not sure if I will end it here or not…. This goes out the the reviewer who asked why can I write a cheater fic where Edward and Bella cheat to be together… There you go…**

**Until later…**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xoxo**

**xoxo**


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

"What the hell was she doing there?" Tanya whined as we drove back our home in the northern suburbs of Chicago. She hated Bella because she was the type of woman who drew attention from without trying while Tanya had to work for it. It was an irrational jealousy thing that Tanya had with all other women who turned heads without trying.

"She's Jasper's sister and my friend," I said with a sigh continued to drive as Tanya mimicked my tone by repeating the word friend. She had no idea how good of a friend Bella was to me.

"She shouldn't have been there. It was a celebration and she was just bringing the room down," Tanya said as I rolled my eyes at her.

"Roll your eyes all you want, but you know people were talking about her and her asshole husband," she ranted on but I lost interest after she mentioned Bella's husband.

Jacob Black was bad news. He drank too much. He was violent. He was jealous and hated the fact that she had a life outside of him. I hated him and not just because he was with her, but because of how he was to her. He was cruel and even though Bella denied it, I often wondered if he ever hit her since she would clam up whenever I questioned her over it.

"Are you listening to me?" Tanya asked, pulling me out of my thoughts of Bella alone with him now.

"Of course," I replied with a grin that made her roll her eyes at me since she knew that I wasn't.

I took the turn off towards my parents house and watched as Tanya scramble in her seat.

"Where are you going?" she asked me as I continued to drive.

"To get Lilie," I replied as I watched her eyes go wide and then narrow with anger as she looked at me.

"No, she's with your parents tonight," she pouted as I looked over at her with surprise.

"What?" I asked her while not understanding why she was reacting the way she was.

"I just want a night with you, Edward. Is that too much to ask?" she asked me in a small voice as I looked over at the woman I had promised my tomorrows to. She looked the same as when she was seventeen and we had met at high school with her long strawberry blonde hair and big blue eyes. She was stunning then and stunning now that ten years had passed since then.

Her words made me feel like shit. She was reminding me that I was a failure when it came to her. I had failed to know that she needed me. I had failed her when it came to Bella. I had failed her at everything and failure was not something I was used to.

"I'm sorry, baby. I had no idea," I said with a sad grin as she looked out the window.

"I just miss you," she said while not looking at me. It was as if it hurt her to even admit that.

"But I'm right here," I countered back, knowing damn well what she meant by her words.

"Yeah, but you're not here. You're at work. You're busy. You spend nights in your office the city, Edward, and while I'm trying to be the supportive wife it still hurts and I still miss you," she said softly with hurt in her voice that was like an arrow through my heart. She was right. I was focused on work. I was focused on a life I was creating and what free time I had I spent with Bella. It was wrong and she deserved better than that.

"I'll do better. I promise," I said as I took hold of her hand in mine. Her skin against mine felt as familiar as my own. It felt comfortable. It felt warm. It felt nice, but there was no passion, no fire, and no want like what I felt with Bella.

I looked over at my wife and watched a hopeful smile grace her face while amazing me that one little promise could make such a difference in her world. One promise of me just trying to do better was all it took to make her smile and that was a wonderful thing even though it left me feeling sick inside.

"Take me home and make love to me, Mr. Cullen," she cooed at me as she untangled her fingers from mine to trace along my thigh before cupping cock with her hands. I was far from hard, but she wasn't distracted by that at all. I continued to drive as her fingers slowly unbuttoned my pants before unzipping my fly. She tugged upon my pants, urging me to shift in my seat so she could pull my pants down enough to free my limp cock.

"Do you remember all the times we drove back from Iowa City to your parents' house," she said with a sweet giggle that made me smile in response while she slowly stroked me, bringing my cock to life under her touch.

"Do you remember how many times I sucked your cock while you drove?" she asked me with a giggle that was more naughty than sweet now.

"Do you remember that oasis rest stop that you would pull over at because you couldn't take it any longer?" she asked me as my cock sprang to life over the memory of better times that consisted of loving Tanya with all my heart before life changed for me.

"Things were so simple then. We had all the time in the world to love and fight and fuck and now… now it's all so difficult," she whispered as she continued to stroke me teasingly, but I could hear the hint of sadness in her tone.

It was all difficult now. We had a life, a mortgage, a daughter, jobs, and I had Bella. Not that I regretted Bella. Bella was the only thing that pulled me through some days, yet I knew it was wrong. I would hate it Tanya was cheating on me, yet I couldn't give Bella up. I couldn't walk away from her. I needed her like I needed air to breathe. It was all so wrong, so horrible, and yet so fucking right that it hurt me.

Tanya didn't say another word instead she leaned over the space that was separating us in the car. I could feel her warm breath on my hard cock just before my dick was engulfed by her hot mouth.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**I was inspired to pick this one back up after getting a great banner from FemmeCullen. It is stunningly gorgeous! Come to FB and check it out.. I'm Mamasutra Hornball there... let me know if you want to be added to my private group of wonderful ladies.**

**I'm not sure how often I will update this one, but I do have a clear vision in place now so I will be updating sporadically.**

**Until later…**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xoxo**


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

The weekend passed slowly with Tanya being extra clingy. It was as if she knew that something was off and maybe she did. Maybe she sensed when I was with her I really wasn't. Maybe she knew when we were sitting together on the couch while she watched some cooking show I was thinking about Bella and how her shift at the hospital was as an ER nurse.

"Baby, are you listening to me?" Tanya yelled out as I stood in the kitchen waiting on the tea kettle to heat up to pour myself a cup of tea. I hadn't been listening, but I did my best to recover as I put thoughts of Bella aside once more to talk to my wife.

"I'm sorry, Tan. What was that?" I yelled to her just as she entered the room while carrying a sleepy looking Kate. Just seeing our daughter with her big blue eyes like Tanya and hair more red than both of our combined made me smile. She was surprise and a blessing all rolled into one.

"I said we were invited to dinner over at Jasper and Alice's on Tuesday night. I think Alice wants to talk babies since she's pregnant," Tanya said with a grin since she had won the beat that Alice would be pregnant within the year after we had Kate and I had been foolishness to take that bet. Our Kate was just under six months old and I was wrong as usual.

"That's fine," I replied as I took Kate from her mother to hold her. I loved this time of the night. She was all soft and warm from her bath while wrapped up in her fuzzy pink sleeper. It was always pink. Tanya insisted upon it.

"She better not invite her sister in law," Tanya said with an eye roll as I chuckled nervously over her words. I knew Alice and I knew that Bella would be there that night since they were a very close family.

"Tan, I don't get it. Why the hate?" I asked her in what I hoped was a teasing tone as I swayed back and forth with Kate snuggled against me.

"She's just…She's just annoying, ok?" she said in a stilted tone as if she was searching for the words over why she hated Bella when the truth was right in front of her as to why she needed to hate her.

"She looks at you as if she knows you and I hate that," Tanya said in a small voice causing my heart to pound in my chest with guilt.

"She doesn't know me. She's just a friend," I said with a tongue so thick with lies and betrayal that it nearly made it impossible to speak.

"I know. I know you'd never do anything with her. I just….I just hate how she looks at you and….that's all," she stammered in a nervous manner while her words weighed me down with how much she believed in me. It made it painful to breathe as I stood there trying to remain calm while knowing that Tanya could see the difference between Bella and I. She could see it, she was just choosing not to believe it and that made my stomach turn.

"Well, stop worrying. There is no one I want more than you," I said with a thick tongue and dry throat making my words painful to say since they were lies. I watched as my words appeased her. I could literally see the since of peace wash over her, wiping away the lines of doubt on her face until she was beaming at me with her love and devotion. Both were something I did not deserve at all and that only made my chest feel hollow where my heart should be.

Tanya continued on with her grin as she pulled our sleeping daughter from my arms with the promise to be right back. I watched as she carried our baby down the hall to the baby pink room she had loving decorated just for Katy.

I couldn't stand the idea of tea now that my stomach had turned sour so I turned the kettle off and walked back to our room. I stripped down for bed, not caring that it was too early, but instead just needing the peace that only sleep can provide over the ache that her words had left inside of me.

I had stripped to nothing before slipping under the covers and closed my eyes. I needed the sleep, yet it was nowhere to be found.

"You going to bed early?" Tanya asked, causing me to open my eyes to find her standing in the doorway watching me with a curious look upon her pretty face.

"Yeah, I think so," I whispered to her in what I hoped was a tired sounding voice so she would let me, but I should have known better.

"May I join you?" she asked as she stepped into the room. Without waiting for my answer I watched as she stood at the foot of our bed and slowly stripped for me. I watched with eager eyes as piece by piece of her body was revealed until she was bare before me.

I watched as Tanya fluttered over to the bed nervously. She was unsure of herself since having Kate. She was no longer the woman who was overtly confident with her body instead she would try to hide it from me even though I told her all the time how much I loved it.

I felt her skin against mine as we lay there beneath the sheets. We had slept naked ever since college where there were no parents to walk in and disrupt us. It was our connection. It was our time to touch and explore. It was how we came back together after a long day and this would be no different as I felt Tanya's hand grazed my thigh lovingly. She wanted affection. She wanted me. She wanted to show, to remind me that I was hers even though the doubt was there. Doubt that I had placed. Doubt because it was true. I wasn't just hers any more. Part of me belonged to Bella. It was a part of me that she would never get back and I would never relinquish.

I felt her soft kisses along my neck and chest as she pulled herself closer while softly stroking my cock until I was hard.

"I need you," she whispered in a breathy tone that made my cock ache with need while making my heart ache inside my chest. She needed me and I was the fucking asshole who was cheating on her.

I closed my eyes as she kissed and teased me until finally climbing on top of me with a low moan that seemed to shake the bed as she sunk down upon my hard cock. This was us. This was how we always were. It was perfect and sweet. She was still the same girl who gave herself to me at the age of seventeen with the promise of forever. It was a promise I readily agreed to without realizing how long forever will was and who else might come into our lives along the path of forever.

"Oh, god," she moaned as I gripped her hips, helping her move up, down and around on me as she shook from the exertion and pleasure of it. I could not help, but to look at her face as she rode me in the rhythm that she demanded. She was stunning with her long red curls falling down her back as she arched upon me. Her kiss swollen coral lips were parted, gasping for breath as she moaned softly for me while her beautiful blue eyes were closed with concentration. She was perfect. She was still everything that I had ever wanted. She still was amazing and beautiful. She still was loving and passionate. She was everything and I was a beggar in her presence, just wanting morsels of her time while not deserving a damn thing.

I felt her body tighten around me as she started to shake once more as she came with a low groan. She was lost to the haze of pleasure as she struggled to maintain a rhythm even though her body was on sensory over load. It was then that I gripped her tighter, holding her above me as a thrust up into her causing her bit back a scream as I hit that spot inside of her that made her cum on demand over and over again. I loved doing this to her. I loved making her cum. I loved forcing her to lose control over again as she crawled my chest, marking me as she struggled to stay on top of me. It was a beautiful sight to watch her come apart and one that I thanked whatever gods maybe for allowing me to be the guy who did this for her. I pushed into her hard, holding her hip tight with one hand while my free hand alternated between rubbing her clit and tweaking her extended nipples as she tried to hold on to me until I finally came part inside of her with a low grunt of pleasure as Tanya collapsed on top of me. Her sweaty, spent body was pressed against mine while I was still pulsing inside of her, responding to every spasm of her body. It was a perfect way to end a Sunday night and made me realize that I had missed my wife. I had missed being this close to her, yet the nagging of dissatisfaction was still there. The nagging feeling of loss and feeling off was deep inside my bones. This was perfect, yet it wasn't and I knew why.

"I love you, Edward," she whispered to me in a dreamy, blissful tone as she continued to lie on, refusing to move even though my cock was slowly deflating inside of her. Her words were sweet and true. I could feel her love as she lay there, spent from our being together, while she traced a random pattern upon my damp chest. Her love made my heart pound while my stomach twisted inside of me as I held her to me while pressing a kiss into her messy curls.

"I love you too," I whispered back as I closed my eyes over my admission as if it was wrong to admit my love for my wife. It was the right thing to love her and I did love her. There was no doubt that I loved her. I loved her beyond all sense of reason. She was my friend and the mother of my child, yet she didn't fully own my heart. She couldn't since I loved Bella with a passion that could set the world on fire. It was wrong and I was wrong for it. I would most likely burn in hell for loving them both, but I couldn't seem to stop.

I continued to hold Tanya until she drifted off to sleep on top of me with while still inside of her. Once she was asleep I shifted beneath her, pulling out while moving her to my side before grabbing my phone.

_I love you forever B_

I sent my text to my Bella, letting her know I loved her like I did every night that we were apart. It was a simple statement, professing my love, but it was one I always did. I needed her to know that no matter what was going on in our lives that I loved her and that would never change.

_I love you too my Edward_

My Edward she always called me her Edward. Whenever she did my heart would race. I wanted to be her Edward. I needed to be her Edward. It gave me strength and told me that while our circumstances may be against us, our love would shine through. I sat my phone back on the nightstand and closed my eyes, knowing that I could sleep now.

A**N:**

**Thanks for reading! Thanks to FemmeCullen for inspiring me to write with the most beautiful banner that she allowed me to adopt for this story. Come to my FB page to see it. It's beautiful!**

**Speaking of FB I have a new group out there called For the love of Cheatward. It is your one stop shopping place for all your Cheaterward & cheaterbella fics. It's a great place for discussion over the fics you love with those of a like a mind who enjoy a good cheater fic. Come find us and if you can't contact me Mamasutra Hornball so I can add you in : )**

**Until later…**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xoxo**


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Days passed and as they did I returned to a semblance of a normal life. I had the great wife who loved me and a baby that we both adored. It was simple and perfect. It was on those days that I could try to pretend that Bella and I never happened. I could try to pretend that she didn't exist, but the truth was it was all an act since I felt her absence in bones. She was like an ache inside of me, reminding me that she was missing to me. The ache would get worse with each passing day that I didn't see her or touch her. It made me angry as my cravings for her spun me out of control.

"What's wrong with you?" Tanya asked me as I space out over dinner once more; forgetting our conversation ins response for silent musing as I wondered what Bella was doing at that exact moment. Tanya's voice broke me from my thoughts of the woman I missed.

"Nothing, " I replied with a grin as she watched me with an uncertain look before returning to her pointless story about her sister Irina and the guy she was dating. I tried to sound interested, but it was hard when all I could think about was how it had been now five nights since I had been with her. Five nights since I had kissed her. Five nights since touched her. Five nights of dirty text messages whispered with love with one night of polite conversation while our spouses watched us over dinner.

"You know Alice wants to have us all together again," Tanya said causing me to jump since it was as if she had read my mind as I thought about Bella with her dark eyes gazing at me over some dinner that Alice had created. Bella with her sly smile as I brushed against her as I helped clear the table so that she could feel me pressed against her even though everyone was watching. Bella with her brazen stolen kisses that tasted like the strawberry wine she had been drinking while our spouses chatted about babies in the other room.

"That would be great," I replied while clearing my throat to cover my spacing out once more.

"Yeah, I told her that too," she said with a sly smile as she looked at me with her bright blue eyes, surprising me with her agreement.

"Really?" I asked trying to mask my surprise, but she knew I was shocked and laughed at my reaction.

"Yeah, I mean, Bella is nice and if she's a friend of yours then I guess I should give her a chance," she said as I sputtered while trying to mask my surprise over her agreement.

"You do have great taste in people," she teased she grabbed my hand in hers with a giggle that should have made me smile, but I couldn't.

"You did pick me after all," she finished with a grin as I forced a grin as well.

"Besides, Jake isn't that bad. He's actually kind of funny and I can see what Bella sees in him now," she said in a soft contemplating tone she had always that she used to mask her interested in another man, not that I had ever cared before and still didn't when it came to Jacob Black, but my curiosity was peaked over what she saw when she looked at him.

"Really?" I asked her genuinely wondering what it was since whenever I looked at the asshole I could not see what drew Bella to him at all.

"Yeah, he's got that bright personality that just draws you in. I bet he just charmed the pants off of her," she said with a laugh while an image of Jacob rutting above my Bella turned my stomach.

"I think he's an asshole," I blurted out causing her to look at me with surprise before she laughed at me as if I had said the funnies thing ever, but there was nothing funny about what I said since I had meant it. Jacob Black was a controlling asshole who tried to keep his wife on a short leash.

"Yeah, he doesn't like you too much either, but I think that has to do with your friendship with Bella," she said as she shook her head at me while I froze over her words for a moment before forcing myself to move as if nothing was wrong.

"I told him that you were the noblest man I knew so there was nothing but friendship between you and Bella," she said with a grin that made my already sick stomach twist inside of me over how highly she thought of me.

"Aw, baby, you shouldn't have," I said feeling the crushing wave of guilt was over me as I stood up to take my plate to the sink so she couldn't see the sick expression that I wore on my face over her words.

"Why? It's just the truth?" she called after me as I walked away for a moment in the empty kitchen before facing her once more. I stood at the counter and closed my eyes as I tried to focus breathing just as my phone chimed announcing a text. Bella. It always Bella. She seemed to know when I needed her most.

_I need you._

She needed me. She knew what it was like to live this double life, this half presence in both worlds while not belonging in either. She knew what it was like to hold the hand of one while missing another. She knew me and because of it her simple text filled the gaping hole in my chest left my Tanya's trusting belief in me.

_I need you too, baby, so badly it hurts me._

I waited for her response while Tanya chattered on in the next room about some baby swimming class she had signed up for. I felt on edge as I waited as if my entire world hinged on her words and maybe it did. Maybe my entire existence was waiting for the sweet words from the woman who held my heart on a string while I hid it from the woman who's tomorrows I owned. Words that would enslave me and set me free all at once as I waited for her response.

The phone chimed loudly in the quiet room. I looked at my phone while holding my breath and smiled as I saw her words, telling me all I needed to know to ease the ache inside of me.

_Come to me my love._

**AN: **

**Thanks for reading! The mistakes are all mine and I hope you'll forgive me for them.**

**Until later…**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xoxo**


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

The lies rolled off lips with the ease of a seasoned pro.

_"There's a problem with the building, Tan," I said as I sat the phone down while giving her my best worried look. The look wasn't a lie. I was worried. I was worried she'd see right through me to the overly eager man who was rendezvousing with the woman he loved._

_ "Oh my god, Edward! IS everything ok?" she asked me with started concern as she rocked Lillie in her arms. I tried not to look at my daughter as I lied to her mother since the twisted guilt inside of me morphed into a weird paranoia that somehow in her infant state she knew I was not telling her mother the truth. It was ridiculous, but I couldn't stop the irrational thoughts as they filled my mind._

_ "I don't know. The security alarm went off and I have been called out to see what's going on," I said as I looked away from her towards the door as I felt the low buzz that was almost like an itch that form under my skin that occurred whenever I needed Bella like this._

_ "You should go," she said as she smiled at me with a nervous smile as she waved me on just as she stood up with the baby in her arms babbling away._

_ "Beside, I'm just going to give Lillie bath and then off to bed with her," she continued on with a grin towards our daughter before smiling at me with a soft smile that made my heart hurt. She stepped closer to me, pressing her body against mine as Lillie squirmed in-between us happily. _

_ "Don't be gone long," she said as she raised her arm up to wrap around my neck just before she pulled me down for a kiss. A kiss that was sour with my guilt._

_ "I won't," I replied, lying to her again before walking out of the door for a few hours as a free man._

I made the drive into the city. The traffic was light and I was too excited to car. All I could think about was _her._ Bella would be waiting. She had left work and would be waiting for me there. The thought of her waiting added to my urgency to see her.

Time and miles passed slowly only until I finally was parked in my designated spot in the underground parking that we rented for the building. I got out of the car with ease and made my way over to the exit. My footsteps echoed off the empty parking garage as I rushed toward the door.

The sidewalk was empty for it being seven o'clock at night which made it all the more easy to approach the small office brown stone that I owned and placed my shared practice with in. I by passed the office door and headed straight towards the half hidden door that went up to the studio apartment that was empty since our last tenant left a year ago. I had told Tanya that it was rented out to some student. She had no idea I had kept it renter free just for nights like this.

This was our place. This was my place that I went to when I needed an escape from reality. This was the place that was ours alone. Nothing matter when we were here. No spouses. No family. Not anything except each other. This was where we could just be.

I unlocked the door and was immediately greeted with the scent of the banana bread candle that Bella always burned when we were together it was a comforting scent and one that I would forever associate with sex because of Bella. It was horrible now to go to my mother's house for brunch since I was always greeted with the scent of baking banana bread and left with my cock hard as I thought about Bella.

I stepped inside the dark room that was only lit by the candle and breathed in deep as I grinned while looking for her. The studio apartment had no furniture except for a bed, but that was all it needed; a bed with dark red satin sheets that made Bella giggle for their cheesiness in the center of the room. The windows were bare, letting in the night sky. The walls were blank, but it didn't matter. I wasn't here for the comforts of home. I was here for the comforts of Bella.

I smiled in the darkness as I listened to the soft sounds that came from her iphone as it was attached to the ihome that rested on the counter. I could see two bottles of that expensive foreign beer that Bella loved waiting for her and me, but I didn't want beer. I wanted her skin. I wanted her luscious tits in my face, in my mouth. I wanted to hear her cry my name as I buried myself so deep in her that it would be impossible to tell where I ended and she began. I wanted it all and she was the only one who understood that. She was the only one who could give it to me with her soft cries, whispered _I love you_'s and scratches along my back. Just her. Only her.

I was standing in the darkness when Bella appeared from the restroom. Her dark hair was down in waves around her shoulders and she was still wearing her scrubs that were pink and had teddy bears on the top. She looked rumpled form work and deliciously sexy as she stood there with a tired grin on her face as she smiled at me.

"You are the best thing I have seen in days," she said with a grin that made my heart skip a beat as she stepped closer to pull me into a tight hug.

"I've missed you, baby," I whispered into her hair as I held her against me with her face buried in my chest just breathing me in like she always did after days apart.

"Show me," she whispered in a teasing tone that told me of her want, her needs before looking up at with dark eyes filled with lust and love as she stood on her tip toes to kiss me.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! More to come later…**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xoxo**


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Time passes too quickly. I can try to will the hands of time to slow, but they never do, instead I find myself sweaty, and spent with Bella's naked form curled around mine. Her small hands in my hair, scratching at my scalp, lulling me into a false sense of calm as we lay there forgetting that real life was waiting on us.

"I miss you," Bella said in s soft voice, stark with emotion as it filled the quiet air around us. I knew she did. I missed her too. I missed her every morning at dawn when awoke next to the wrong woman. I missed her at night when I was kissing the wrong lips good night.

"I miss you too," I whispered back with my eyes closed, just trying to enjoy these last moments of our time together.

"Jacob wants another baby," she said in the same soft voice that was stripped bare with emotion that hinted at her despair as my body went from blissfully satisfied to on full alert with her words.

_Jacob wants another baby._

_ Jacob wants another baby._

My heart dropped in my chest since one more baby would mean one more tie he had to her. It would be one more reason for us not to be together. It would be one more example of how he was her husband while I was just the guy she fucked.

"I told him no," she said in a rush as she watched my face with her wide brown eyes that seemed so weary as she looked at me.

"I told him I needed time and he agreed to that. Jared is only one and that pregnancy was difficult and…" she stammered on as I felt my heart pounding with each word she said as I realized a horrible truth. If Jacob was asking for more children then she was still having sex with him. She was having sex with him and having sex with me. She was fucking us both and the just the thought of it made me sick.

She was mine and I hated the idea of him touching her. It was wrong. He was not to touch her. I didn't give a fuck that he was her husband. She was mine and I refused to share her with anyone, especially him.

"I didn't know you were intimate with him still," I said in a tight voice as I tried to keep my anger and my ridiculous sense of betrayal in check as I spoke to her. It was hypocritical of me and I was being a huge fucking hypocrite, but I didn't care.

"He's my husband," she said in soft voice, but it was firm as I felt the flicker of her anger in her tone.

"I had no idea how liberal you were with your affection," I said in a low tone letting the feeling of betrayal take over as I watched her eyes go wide with shock over my statement before narrowing in rage at me.

"Don't you fucking dare, Edward Cullen. Don't you fucking dare!" she hissed furiously at me as I moved to get away from her.

"You are still fucking your wife and don't act like you aren't since I got to hear all about you and how you made love to her in your bed after the brunch. Which, I'll be honest, I would have thought that fucking her in the car on the way home was more your style," she said as she looked at me with her brown eye almost red with rage, mocking me with my need for her that often resulted in sex in awkward places like the car and hallways, anywhere that I could be inside of her.

"That's different. I don't treat her like that. She's my wife, not some piece of ass on the side," I replied in anger without thinking as I watched her flinch as if I had smacked her before she bolted from the bed in anger.

"Fuck you, Edward!" she screamed at me in anger as she scrambled to find her discarded clothes as I lay there, grasping at the slick satin sheet for coverage, not that it mattered. She knew my body better than I did.

"I'm not some whore you get to fuck and dump. I'm not some whore that…" she stammered in anger as I tried to take back my words.

"I'm sorry Bella, I didn't mean it like that," I said as I watched her pull her pink scrub pants on after giving up on finding her panties in the mess of her clothes and mine on the floor.

"Fucking liar!" she screamed at me as I watched her pull jog bra on that she wore only to work before grabbing the scrub top that was covered in bears.

"You meant it! You meant it and I'm done here!" she screamed as I scrambled off the bed to follow her as she struggled to get dress to leave me.

"I'm sorry, baby, you know I love you," I said as I pulled her into an embrace while she fought me with swinging elbows that never connected as I held her to me.

"I love you and I never called you a whore. I never would do that. I never…" I stammered as I felt my stomach turn with the threat of bile rising up my throat.

"You did, Edward. You did," she said as she sobbed still trying to get away from me.

"I loved you and you just threw it back in my face like some…some…" she sputtered through her tears as I held her as she cried.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry," I chanted over again in her ear in a low remorseful whisper as she slowly stopped struggling against me and just let me hold her. I pressed kisses against her tear stained cheeks as she continued to cry while slowly calming down with each stuttering breath she took until she finally allowed me to kiss her salty, tear flavored lips.

"I'm sorry baby. I never meant to hurt you or say that," I whispered to her as she let me hold her, yet refused to look at me.

"I need to leave. He'll worry," she said in a flat tone that tore my heart out of my chest. I pressed one more kiss against her lips before slowly letting her go. I watched her as she slipped her clogs on silently while suddenly feeling foolish for being so bare in front of her even though she had seen my naked form before countless times.

"When will I see you again?" I asked her as she remained silent as she grabbed her purse.

"I'm not sure," she said in soft tone that made my heart ache.

"Please, Bella," I pleaded with her as she looked at me with hurt in her eyes, hurt that I had placed there with my cruel words.

"I need time to think," she said as she looked at me while trying to cover up her wounded look and replacing it with a look that lacked emotion, but I could see it. I could see that I hurt her and let me feeling hollow inside.

"I love you," I whispered to her as she grabbed the door handle to open the door that would lead to the little hallway down to the door on the street. My words caused her halt in her movements, but she still wouldn't look at me.

"I know," she said in flat tone that resounded though the hollowness of my chest before stepping out in the hallway and shutting the door as she left me alone.

A**N:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Until later…**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xoxo**


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

"Are you listening to me?" Tanya said in an annoyed voice pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Sorry, babe," I said with a sheepish grin while scowled at me for a moment before telling me about Lillie's day. I knew I should be paying attention, but my mind kept wandering back to the woman who consumed my thoughts.

Bella.

Bella had been avoiding my calls and ignoring my text messages for four weeks. Four weeks of silence. Four weeks of not seeing her since her and Jake seemed to be busy on Alice's dinner party nights. Four weeks of nothing and it hurt.

I found myself bumbling through my day as I tried to focus on my patient or my family, but it wasn't enough. I would float through my day and then go home at night. I would smile and laugh when I was supposed to. I answered questions and made small talk when needed, but at the end of the night when I was laying in bed next to the woman I had promised forever to I was lost for another woman.

I missed her. I missed her laughter. I missed our hidden lunch dates. I missed afternoon movies and hidden nights with her. I just missed her and as the days passed it became worse for me.

"Baby, what's got you so down?" Tanya asked me as she reappeared after laying Lillie down in her crib for the night.

"Nothing, babe," I said with smile that felt off even to me as she curled up next to me on the couch. Her small frame fit perfectly against me. I could smell the flowery scent of her perfume and the heat coming off her body as she ran her hand over my chest lovingly while settling in to watch TV along side of me.

This should have been enough. Tanya was beautiful and sweet. She was sexy and adventurous. She was my wife and the mother of my child. She was my everything, yet it wasn't enough. I wanted more.

I wanted the brown eyed girl who stole my heart when she was Lillie's NICU nurse. I miss the girl who was there for me when Tanya couldn't find it in herself to even look at our daughter after her birth. I wanted the girl who held my hand and showed me the stars on the roof of the hospital. I wanted the girl who was my friend before becoming my lover one icy winter's night. I wanted Bella.

"Isn't that horrible?" Tanya said pulling me out of my thoughts once more.

"Jacob is beside himself and Bella just isn't there for him. She's been at the hospital with Jared," Tanya said with a sigh, as she snuggled closer while I bristled with her mentioning Bella's name.

"I know how you feel about him, but I understand him. You know I'm the same way. I can't stand watching Lillie struggle. It kills me, Edward, and so I understand him even if you don't," she said in a defensive tone as I turned enough with her in arms to look at her.

"What are you talking about?" I asked her as I felt the icy tingle of fear at the base of my spine.

"Jared has been admitted to the hospital for observation. He has a cold that is causing repertory issues," Tanya said as she looked at me with a confused look on her face.

"Didn't Bella tell you?" she asked me as my heart dropped in my chest over her words. Jared was sick. Premiees often faced chronic lung disorders, especially brought on by colds. I knew this. Jared has been admitted for this issue before as had Lillie. IN the past I was there for Bella when Jacob couldn't bring himself to be man enough to face his sick child. In the past I was the first person she called, but now I was finding out about Jared from Tanya. It was wrong; just so wrong.

I moved, pushing Tanya off me. I needed to go to her. Bella may still be mad and with good reason since I was nothing but a jealous asshole when I spoke to her last, but she needed me so I would be there.

"Where are you going?" Tanya demanded from me as I stood up and walked towards the door to grab my sneakers. It didn't matter that I was wearing jogging pants and an old t-shirt. It didn't matter that I was leaving my home at eight o'clock at go sit with a woman who most likely would send me away.

"The hospital," I said calmly as Tanya watched me with shocked blue eyes.

"She needs me," I said as I explained myself to the woman who was just lost over my abrupt need to find Bella.

"She can wait until the morning, Edward,' Tanya said in a harsh tone as she gave me a cold look of anger.

"No she can't," I said firmly while matching her angry stare.

"Why are you doing this?" Tan asked me with a scowl as she crossed her arms over her chest in a defensive manner that made me scowl in return.

"Because she was there for me and Lillie when you weren't. She needs someone and it should be me," I said in a hard tone as I watched my wife flinch over my words. It was a low blow on my part to remind her that when her daughter, when I needed her most she refused to be there. She refused to hold Lillie for her first few weeks of life. She refused to even look at her. Instead, she cried and told me she couldn't handle it. It was horrible and the loneliest I had ever felt in our entire relationship. It was during this time that I met Bella and everything changed.

"Edward, I'm sorry," she stuttered with hurt seeping out in her voice. I knew it was wrong to bring up Tanya's inability to be there when things were rough with Lillie, but it was only the truth.

"I'm sorry, Tanya," I said as I watched her blue eyes glaze over with remorseful tears.

"I love Lillie too," she whispered as she looked at me with the tears I caused spilling down her cheeks.

"I'm…" I sputtered as I struggled to say I was sorry to her.

"Just go, Edward. Just go," she said as she wiped at her tears while turning away from me. I should have stayed. I should have stayed and apologized to my wife, but instead all I could think about was Bella all alone so I left.

A**N:**

**Thanks for reading! There was some confusion in ch12 that I caused. In that chapter I referred to Edward & Tanya's baby as Kate. It should have been Lillie. Iam correcting it now… Edward only has one daughter, Lillie, who's mom is Tanya. So yeah, sorry about that…**

**Until later…**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xoxo**


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

The hospital corridors were bleak looking even though it was supposed to homey with its pastel colors and painting depicting happy mothers and children. It was all false advertising. Where I was headed there wasn't always happy ending for the families so these pictures always bothered me.

I felt the familiar tightening in my chest as I approached the locked doors that lead to the NICU. Only family was allowed in to see the child and even then it was limited in numbers. I paused at the nurses desk to be eyed critically by a woman that I immediately recognized not just from Lillie's stay here, but because she was one of Bella's friends. Lauren Crowley, married and happily at that since she would constantly talk about her husband. She had been at many of lunch dates that Bella and I had. I wasn't sure if she knew how far my relationship with Bella went when having these lunch dates, but standing before her now with her menacing gaze it was quite clear she knew. She knew about us and somehow her knowing made me feel queasy as I stood before her.

"Edward," she said as she greeted me with an evil look as she sat behind the desk with her arms crossed in a defensive mode.

"Lauren, I need to see her," I said as I stood there, trying to sound strong, but the words came out too whiny even to my own ears.

"You need to go to hell," she said with an evil grin as she met my gaze with a challenging one of her own. Of course she knew what had happened. Bella had told her. I wondered what else Bella had told her about me and our time together.

"You don't understand…" I said as I stepped closer to the counter to plead my case to the one person who could let me in to find my girl.

"She needs me, Lauren, and you know that," I said as I placed my shaking hands upon the counter to steady myself for a moment as I began to wage my battle to see Bella.

"She needs you like she needs a hole in her head,' she replied with a low sarcastic laugh while glancing around to make sure no other nurses were approaching to hear our conversation. There was no one. They were inside the locked ward at the station in there or down the hall with patients.

"You have no idea how much she risks to see you," she said in a furious whisper that caught me off guard.

"She has a good life; a good husband and a sweet boy to love and look after, yet she risks her good life for you when I can't even find what she sees in you," she continued on as I stood there slack jawed over her response. I had never thought of Jacob as a good man. He was just some guy who wasn't there when his wife needed him most.

"You treat her like some cheap whore that would just spread her legs for whomever and expect her to be ok with it? You make demands on her not to be with her husband, yet you go home and fuck the ice queen because she's your wife and she's _special_. Do you see the double standard here or do I need to spell it out for you?' she asked me in cruel tone that had me fighting back the bile in my throat as she talked.

"I was just …" I stammered as I tried to explain that I was being jealous. I was being irrational. I was being horrible to the woman I love.

"Being a dick? Yeah, I know that, but I know that because only a dick would cheat on his wife," she said causing me look away from her hard stare of disgust. She was right of course. I was dick and only a dick would cheat on his wife. I loved Tanya there was no doubt of that, but Bella was like a need inside of me. She was the reason I breathed and why my heart beat. She was the reason I started the day with a semblance of sanity.

There was a long pause in the tirade against me as Lauren listed all of sins. I hated that she was right. I hated that I hurt Bella. I hated that nothing was simple, not even loving someone. I looked over at Lauren again and could the fury still hot in her eyes as she looked at me. She was silent. She had nothing more to say. I knew her well enough that she would save the rest of her anger for Bella. Without another word I turned to leave, knowing that she was not about to let me in to find her. My noble mission to be the woman who needed me was over and I was being sent home like the loser I had become.

I turned away and started to make my way down the hall towards the elevator when I heard her.

"Edward?" Bella called out from behind me causing me to spin around like a top to find her. She was standing by nurses' desk with her hand resting on the counter that I had just been leaning on after Lauren's verbal attack. She looked pale and scared with her yoga pants and fitted t-shirt that looked loose on her as if she had lost weight.

I couldn't breathe as I looked her. Her dark eyes looked haunted and unsure. I hated that she was unsure about me when in the past I had only ever seen confidence and love when she looked at me. Before I could rationalize what I was doing I found myself moving, jogging towards her until I was able to sweep her up in my arms for an embrace that was long overdue.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! I'll be changing the summary of this fic since it has gone one from the one night that I had planned on. I wanted to give you the heads ups so to speak since I didn't want you to think I was some flakey writer who couldn't decide what type of story they were writing.**

**Thanks to FemmeCullen for the amazing banner that inspired me to pick this one back up and actually give it an ending. Thanks to all the lovely ladies over on my facebook page for your kindness and support. Come find me on face back as Mamasutra Hornball if you would like to join the wonderful woman at Mamasutra Moments who discuss the fics that I write.**

**Until later…**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xoxo**


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

It was easy to go back to the way it was. Bella forgave me for my thoughtless words or so she claimed even though she was much slower to return to our nights together and when she did she felt more closed off than before.

"Want you," I whispered to her as we kissed slowly, sensually on the bed I had bought just for us in the middle of the bare apartment.

"You do?" she asked me in what I thought was a teasing manner, but as she pulled away from me I could see she was far from teasing me. She was asking me. She needed to know that I wanted her.

"I want you, Edward. I want you in my life and everywhere that I am," she said in a soft voice as she looked at me with hope filled brown eyes as she put space between us. It was space that she needed and I hated. I wanted no space. I wanted her pressed against me. I wanted her skin against mine. I wanted to hear her moan my name while filling what limited time we had together with all the sin we could, but she refused. She needed reassurance. She needed to hear me say that I wanted her too and I did. I thought of her each morning. I worried about her throughout the day. I wondered if she was ok. I lived for her texted messages and whispered phone calls. I wanted to keep her with me as my own personal ray of sunshine in my sometimes dreary world.

"I want you too," I whispered to her, hoping that she would hear that I meant it since I did. I waited as she watched my face for a sign of something anything that she was looking for before a slow smile spread across her face. It was bright as the sun and as warm as her love as it encompassed me. It was all that I needed to know that she was mine once again.

I pulled her to me for a kiss that seared my skin as her fingers started to tug frantically at my clothes. She wanted them gone and if that's what my Bella wanted then that's what she would get. Rapidly with frustrated grunts and angry tugs on stubborn clothes our clothes disappeared leaving us both bare and ready for long overdue make up sex.

There was no time for slow and easy. There was no time for tasting skin or teasing her to an orgasm before I ever entered her. There would be time for that later, but now what was needed was just me inside of her, filling her while making her mine all over again.

I pushed Bella back into the mattress and grabbed her ankles to pull her legs apart. I couldn't think beyond the driving need inside of me that pushed me to take her, to be inside of her, to fuck her as she cried my name. It was insanity at its best and worst. It was frantic and needy. It was thoughtless and consuming. It was everything and she was everything to me in that moment.

I looked down at her perfect pink flesh, swollen with need as I moved without thinking. I sunk into her slowly, stretching her to fit me as I growled in unbelievable pleasure just as her fiery heat consumed me.

"I love you, baby," I whispered through gritted teeth as I pushed deep inside of her until there was no space between us. My hand skimmed along her rib cage that was shaking with each breath she took. I felt her heart beating loudly and rapidly just for me as I stayed still inside of her for what seemed like hours as we reconnected once more.

"I want forever," she whispered to me in a soft voice that was rough with need and emotion. It beautiful and so was she as I shifted with not removing an inch of me inside of her so I could look into her dark eyes that were dilated with lust. Her hands came up to cup my face, holding me there, looking at her like this.

"I want forever," she whispered again, stressing her words that were lost to me as I felt her muscles squeezing my cock inside of her.

"Tell me you want it too," she whispered to me in a pleading manner as she held my face in her hands, willing me to look at her as we lay so close that we were one. My mind was lost to the pleasure that was looming as I was being held inside of her. Her words were meaningless to me. We had forever. We had forever in that moment and there was nothing more that I needed than her like this. I knew this so there was no need for her to question or make demands from me since in my mind this was forever for us.

I could no longer stay still inside of her. The need to move, to fuck, was too much and too consuming for me to stay so still even though the feeling of her wrapped around me was I had dreamed of in our weeks apart as well as our time rebuilding what we were. I shifted with my arms resting on each side of her while her knees where high and parted wide for me. It was too perfect. It was too right. It was too everything and without another thought I pulled out of her heat causing her gasp only to thrust back in, hard and fast. This was what we needed. This was how we would rebuild. This was us at our most perfect.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! **

**Until later…**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xoxo**


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

***I know I said no BPOV, but I changed my mind***

The restaurant was crowded with other families as I watched Jacob and Jared from a distance while waiting to order.

"Look at them," mom said with a smile as she motioned toward almost all the men in my life as my dad joined in on making Jared laugh by taking two straws to make long fangs while smiling at him.

"Jared is just in love with your dad," she said with a happy grin as she watched dad make faces at my little boy. It was sweet and made me a little homesick even though my parents were here with me.

"I'm so glad you're here," I said as I smiled at my mom who was grinning over my overly serious father and his silly faces.

"You sounded blue, baby girl so here I am," she said as she turned to look at me with her familiar smile full of love. She knew me too well. She knew I was upset, but didn't know why and I refused to tell her. There was no way to tell her that the man I was married no longer made me happy and the man who did make me happy was married to another.

The afternoon wore on and as it we ended up at the zoo. It wasn't crowded as a lot of the out of towners had already left leaving those of us who were in hurry to get anywhere to enjoy the animals. It was peaceful with Jacob carrying Jared while my Dad followed close with them talking about god knows what.

"Isn't that your friend?" mom asked me motioning over in the distance. I looked in the direction of where she motioned and saw him. I would know Edward anywhere. He was standing there with a wide grin on his face as he motioned towards whatever animal was in front of them. I watched as he wrapped his arm around Tanya and pulled her close as she held on to the stroller that held their daughter. My heart dropped and my stomach twisted like some love sick school girl as I watched him spin her around for a kiss while she laughed at him. It was a sweet kiss that quickly morphed into something a little more heated before they broke apart and grinned at each other knowingly. I knew that grin and just seeing him smile like that for her, at her, made me feel nauseas.

"Do you want to go over and say hello?' mom asked me causing me to jump in surprise. I knew she knew him. They had met at the hospital before and at Jared's first birthday.

"No, he looks busy," I said as I watched Edward, grab Tanya's ass playfully as they started to walk away.

"Yeah, he does," mom said in a soft voice as I watched Edward and his family walk away until they turned and were out of sight.

The rest of the day was a waste for me as I was too busy thinking about the man who I let rule my world. I knew he was somewhere with her, his wife, most likely making love to her while Lillie napped. I knew he was still intimate with her. I knew this, yet seeing him with her like that, like how he was with me, playful, loving, flirting made me queasy. It was so easy to want to believe that he didn't love her, that he didn't want her or even better yet that Tanya was some wicked bitch who ruined his life and I wanted to believe it. I wanted to believe that when he wasn't with me he was as lonely and as lost as what I was when we were apart, but obviously he wasn't.

"You ok out here?" mom called to me as she stepped outside where I was sulking on the patio as the sunset.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said as I smiled for her, letting the forced feeling of happiness settle over my face.

"Your Dad and Jacob are putting Jared down," she said offhandedly as she walked out with a wine glass in each hand.

"Good," I said with the same soft smile before taking the glass from her hand. I drank the wine slowly as she filled me in on the happening going on back home in Iowa City. There were new stores, old friends having children and Dad's never ending hatred for the college kids that flooded the town every year. She talked about my brother and Alice finally being pregnant and how Alice would make an interesting mother while not hiding her dislike for the prissy woman Jasper married. She talked on and on while I listened half heartedly since I was still too focused on Edward.

"You want to tell me what the hell is going on with you?" she asked me with a critical eye causing me to jump as she startled me with her sudden change in conversation.

"Nothing is wrong," I defended myself weakly as I she continued to look at me with her knowing eyes.

"Isabella Marie I have known you since before you were born. I know when something is bothering you so just spill it," she said in her firm mom tone that made me smile while tears filled my eyes. She did know me and that was the worst part. She would know that this wasn't me. I wasn't the girl who took their marriage vows lightly. I went into my marriage to Jacob with the idea that he was forever and that his love was enough, but I hadn't planned on Edward.

"I can't tell you," I whispered to her as I felt the heavy weight of guilt over all my wrong doing weighing me down, drowning me in the sea of wrong doing that I had created for myself.

"Why not?" she asked me in the same mom tone that she had always used on me to make me confess from when I was child.

"You'll be so disappointed," I replied with a hollow laugh as I swiped at the stray tears that had fallen.

"Never," she said in a firm tone as she looked at me with confident eyes.

"There is nothing that you could ever do that would make me love you any less, Bella boo," she said as she took hold of my hand in hers. It was soft and warm. It was just enough to make me spill my secret; the same secret that I had carried in my heart for the last six months of my life.

"I don't know mom. What I did was pretty bad," I said with a sad shake of my head that caused her to rub my hand in hers encouragingly.

"Let me be the judge of that, baby," she said with a grin as I took a deep breath and began to tell what was the story of Edward and me.

I told her of how we became friends and how he needed a friend since Tanya refused to see their child. I spoke of phone calls and text messages that turned into lunches. I told her of smiles and touching that turned into hand holding. I told her about being snowed in which resulted in an offer to stay overnight with him that ended with sex.

"I never intended for it to go that far, but…" I stammered as she looked at me with teary eyes.

"But it did," she said with sad note in her voice as she squeezed my hand tightly.

We sat in silence for a long moment just listening to night sounds and the laughter from inside of the house as Dad and Jacob watched the baseball game.

"What do I do?" I asked her in small voice that made me sound child like, but the truth was I was a lost child. I was more lost than ever before. I needed help. I needed guidance.

"Oh, baby," she whispered with a sigh that was pain filled.

"Do you love him?" she asked me causing me to cry softly as I nodded yes. I did love Edward. It was a love that made me shine and soar amongst the clouds. It made me want more. It made me dream again.

"What about Jacob?" she asked me with an uncertain look on her face. Jacob was Jacob. He was loving and kind. He was a good father to Jared. He was a good man, but we had nothing in common beyond our child. It was a love that bloomed when we were children, but now that I had lived, worked, and experienced another I could see that it wasn't enough. Maybe it had never been enough and it took until now for me to realize it.

"I don't know," I said with a sad look as my mom looked at me with a knowing look.

"You do know and you're lying, Bella," she said with a scowl that made the empty feeling in my chest that thinking of Jacob caused intensify.

"It is cruel beyond words to string that man along," she said firmly as she looked at me with her all knowing mother look on her face.

"You know that I am not a fan of Jacob Black. I thought he wanted to get you married off to him just to keep you all to himself and refused to let you love. I thought he was nothing more than some boy who wanted to hinder your dreams and I was right for the most part," she said as she looked at me with hard eyes, daring me to deny that it was Jacob who stopped me from pursuing a medical school even though I had always dreamed of being a doctor. We both knew it was the truth. We both knew that it was him that kept me from going back to pursue my education and she hated him for it.

"While I may not like the boy, that doesn't mean that he deserves to be treated like this," she said as she looked at me, hard eyes gone and instead there was nothing but firm guidance as she nodded her head me, will me to agree with her. She was right of course. Jacob didn't deserve any of this. He deserved a wife who wasn't thinking of another man whenever he touched her or dreaming of another man as they sleep side by side at night.

"I know," I whispered to her as I nodded in agreement.

"I'm not saying that you should go run off with the other guy, not that I think he would do that," she said causing me to sputter as I took my last sip of the wine in my glass. My sputtering caused her to stop mid sentence.

"Come one, baby, you saw what I did today," she said with gentle urging for me to understand while I sat there feeling sick all over again.

"He's happily married, Bella. That's plain as day to me and I barely know him," she said in a low whisper as she squeezed my hand while my blood ran cold. I had seen his happiness that afternoon as well, but wanted to refuse to believe that it was true.

"He may be with you, but he loves his wife. That was clear as day to me," she whispered to me as I felt the sloshing of my stomach threatening to throw up the glass of wine I had just drank to ease my frayed nerves.

"He said he loves me," I said quietly as I felt stupid over his confession spoken between the red sheets that covered us after an afternoon of lovemaking.

"Oh, sweetheart," she whispered to me as she pulled me into a hug just like she used to when I was child and was hurting, except this time the hurt was too big for her to heal.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! All the mistakes are mine. Come find me on Facebook so we can chat I'm Mamasutra Hornball there. I have a separate group called Mamasutra Moments where some lovely ladies discuss my fics and listen to my nonsense as I rant over dumb things. **

**Until later…**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xoxo**


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

"Lillie's asleep," Tanya announced with a teasing grin on her face as she came back into the front room where I was half lying on the couch. I was tired from the day at the zoo and anxious since I hadn't heard from Bella all day. It was out of the ordinary for her not to text me at least once to wish me a happy weekend, but there was nothing and because of it I was on edge.

I smiled in response to Tanya's announcement, but didn't move. I knew what she wanted. She wanted sex. She had whispered it all day in my ear what she wanted to do to me when we got home.

"What's wrong with you?" she asked me with a silly grin as she hit me once she sat down next to me.

"Nothing," I lied as I moved my arm so she could curl up next to me like what she wanted.

"Nothing?" she questioned me with a grin as her hand trailed over my chest down over my belly to the button of my jeans.

"You seem off," she said as I felt my body clench tight over her hand popping the buttons of my button fly jeans. My dick was hardening in anticipation even if I wasn't fully in to it at the moment.

"I'm not," I protested weakly as I felt her hand slip under the waist band of my boxers. I gasped as I felt her cold fingers grip my semi erratic cock tightly in her hand.

"I think you are, but luck for you I have the cure for you," she said as she stroked my cock slowly, teasingly, lovingly as I struggled to breathe. I knew it was my cue to tease her response, but I couldn't. I couldn't find the words as sat there letting her touch me while the guilt of loving Bella was swallowing me whole.

I closed my eyes as I felt her move over me, pulling my pants down to free me just as her mouth enclosed over the head of my cock with a moan. I lost myself to swirling of her tongue and sucking while until she pulled off of me with a loud pop. I watched as my wife pulled off her shirt while telling me that she couldn't wait another moment. She pulled her pajama pants off and stood before me bare. She moved to settle on my lap, rubbing her wet pussy over my cock teasingly as we moaned in unison.

"I love you, baby," she moaned as she slid over me once more just as I shifted my hips to push inside of her with a groan. I watched with narrow eyes as her eyes fluttered closed while she moaned softly as I filled her.

This was Tanya at her most beautiful. This was Tanya at her most stunning, red faced and lusty as she shifted, feeling me deep inside of her.

"I love this," she moaned as she moved her hips in a circular motion so I rubbed her in every direction inside of her. It was perfect and so damn familiar that it made me moan for her.

"It's always so damn perfect," she moaned as she slowly built a rhythm that was us. It had been us since we were seventeen and I had taken her virginity the night of our junior prom.

"Baby, please," I whispered and then watched her move like clockwork as she shifted back, exposing her pink pussy as it rocked back and forth on my cock while she struggled to keep our rhythm. I loved this sight. I loved watching us fuck like this and love like this. It brought back stolen moments in the back of my car after school and lazy days in her dorm room while her roommate was gone.

I leaned forward, catching her stiff nipple between my teeth before latching on to her sensitive flesh as she rode me with her mouth wide open in a soundless moan. I held her hip with one hand as I sucked her nipple hard, letting my mouth fill with the sweetness of the milk that she produced, knowing that the sensation would cause her to cum hard on my cock. I was rewarded by feeling her pussy contract around me as I held her in place, pushing her higher by sucking on her breast while continuing the rhythm she had set for us with upward thrusts of my hips until I could it no longer.

"Come on baby, please," she moaned encouraging me as I closed my eyes and lost myself to bliss of release while she cooed in my ear, whispering words of love as I emptied everything I had inside of her before collapsing back into the sofa cushions with a sigh of relief.

We were silent as we both came down from our high until I heard Tanya's soft giggle as she lay upon my chest. She moved her head to look at me with a sassy grin.

"Well aren't you the kinky one," she teased me before raising her head to lick my lips to taste her breast milk on them.

"Your milk is sweet, just like your pussy," I whispered to her with a teasing tone as I felt her swat my chest playfully while knowing that even after years of being together, marriage and a child, talking about licking her pussy made her blush even if I hadn't done it in a while.

"Well, don't get used to it," she grumbled against my chest embarrassed causing me to tease her more.

"Your pussy? Why not? You love when I lick you. As a matter of fact it was my mad oral skills that first made you cum," I teased her as I remembered a day long ago in her old high school bedroom when I talked her into letting me kiss her down there as she used to call it.

"Stop it," she said as she hit me again before looking at me with a red face form embarrassment.

"My milk you idiot," she finally said as I snickered at her.

"I'm deciding to stop breast feeding," she said with a firm nod that surprised me since I wasn't aware that she was planning on stopping, not that I cared.

"Well, I'll just have to make the most of it while I can," I teased, knowing that me drinking her breast milk kind of grossed her out even though I thought nothing of it, as I tweaked her nipple that I had been sucking on and watched as a drop of milk appeared.

"Yes, you will because once I stop you'll be back to grumbling about birth control," she said with a laugh that made me run cold inside since I was nowhere ready to think of another child at this time, especially after Lillie's dramatic entrance into the world weeks before she was ready.

"You ok?" Tanya asked me, noticing that I was overwhelmed with the idea of another baby.

"I just... I'm not ready," I stammered to her, not caring if the idea of another child was something she was entertaining or not since I knew without a doubt that I wasn't ready for such addition. I had too many things to work out and then there was Bella. I wasn't ready to lose Bella. I needed her like I needed the air that I breathed, yet I knew if another child was added to the mix she would be gone. She was on the verge of being gone now.

"I know. I don't worry about it I'm still on the partial pill so…" Tanya stammered nervously as she looked away from me. Birth control discussion had always made her nervous.

"Ok," I managed to say as I tried to relax, but it was too late my blissful state was long gone as I thought about the girl I would lose to my own life marching forward like it was supposed to.

It was wrong on so many levels to lay there with my wife on my chest while thinking of my girl. It was wrong and unfair to Tanya since I rarely ever thought of her while I was with Bella. When Bella and I were together it was as if time ceased to exist and all that mattered was her. It was odd and wonderful, but that was Bella.

"What are you thinking about?" Tanya asked me as she continued to lay on me as if it was the most natural thing in the world and it was.

"You," I replied with a smile that was honest since it was partial true. I was thinking about her. I was thinking about how I loved her in spite of loving Bella. I loved her with everything I had. She was my Tanya and no matter how much I loved Bella this feeling for her never changed.

"I love you, Edward Cullen," she murmured to me in a sleepy voice as she snuggled against my skin, seeking comfort from me while I closed my eyes feeling sick over her sweet declaration.

"I loved you too, Tanya. Always and forever," I whispered into her strawberry blonde hair, just like I had countless times before, as wrapped my arms around her to hold her tight while my heart beat out a painful rhythm that was heavy with guilt.

A**N:**

**Thanks for reading! All the mistakes here are mine : )**

**Until later…**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xoxo**


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